The Audacity of Hope (to travel and other luxuries)

I was in the process of updating my resume and cover letter this morning, so I was looking for my old ones in my email account. Then I came upon these emails between me and my sister for the duration of her Europe trip last year. I was drawn in by our conversations about family, travel tidbits, and updates on SYTYCD season 3. Really amusing, considering it was around the same time last year when she went.

She had just graduated from UBC and really went forward with this backpack-through-Europe thing that all college graduates seem to do. She and her friends started at London and went around for about a month. The first day she landed in London she called and told me that 1. "There are 5 H&M's on this street, do you want anything?" (right, like I even know what's in H&M's then, let alone express any interest); and 2. it's raining. And it continued to rain throughout most of her trip (or so I'm told). The emails went back and forth, with a couple of episodes and of course, prevalent themes.

One episode was that she realizing she forgot her eurail pass at home. I had to mail it from here to her in Amsterdam. I kept asking her if she'd tried any herrings yet. Don't ask, it's a "The Producers" thing (even though the character was Swedish). Another episode was that she was trapped on a bus going from Corfu to Athens (?) I can't recall. Anyhow, apparently there was a fire in Athens or something, that's why she was stuck on a freakin' bus for something like 12 hours. Insane.

Themes, of course, include homesickness. Like asking me who wants what from where, or the burning desire to eat rice, even if it came from sketchy touristy Chinese restaurants. She asked about everyone's schedules so she could call at the right times. However, that was completely necessary, because my mom would freak out if she does not call. Like right now, she's freaking out because my sister had not called from Kelowna for the past two days she's there. Another thing is the money issue. Seems like everyone has money issues when they travel in Europe. Maggie was so broke by the end of it she had only chocolates to eat when she was in Belgium. I deposited money to her account and I told her about it in the emails.

Sometimes reminiscing is fun. Others not so much. I just looked at my cousin's blog for the first time. She has her own life now, I barely know this person. Obviously she would say the same about me, but it's still sad to realize that. She lives in Shanghai now, apparently, with her boyfriend. Who knew?

So when we were growing up, I was always the one who got to go places. I was the one who went to live in Dallas for a summer, and I was the one who went on an exchange trip to Japan in high school. After that the amount of traveling I've done dropped to zero. Zero. No traveling for me of any kind. Not even out of Vancouver. My sister, on the other hand, traveled to Europe, she went on business trips to such exotic locales as Kelowna and Victoria. Shall I say this with jealousy, or a sense of left behind and stuck? A little of both, I would think.

The Savages

The Savages is a movie starring Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman. It is about two estranged siblings reunited to put their father, who has dementia, in a nursing home. Sounds simple enough, but the acting in this movie makes every emotion more raw and poignant. I watched it and I thought it was fantastic.

Indeed, this type of subject matter I have never seen before. Something that everyone has to go through, yet I rarely hear of it. Probably because I am not at that age yet where I can actually take care of my aging parents. However, if the time does come, I probably would not object to put them in a care facility. Obviously because I am no good at caring for others, and it is not easy taking care of others. But it is not even just that; there is a scene in the movie where the grown children ask their father what his arrangement would be should he become a vegetable or died. How do you ask someone that, especially someone whose future is imminent with death? Laura Linney's character is hesitant and in denial when confronted with all this. I believe it is natural to feel that way.

Which is why I must make arrangements in advance to avoid all this. And I hope the same conversation will be easy for me and my parents when the time comes.

Coloring

【Me原色組合】自覺紅色 + 潛質藍色 + 原生靛色

【掌控型】享受權力帶來的快感，總想辦法掌控一切的人。
喜歡掌控全局的感覺，深深地被權力所帶來的力量和快感吸引，認為掌握權力是讓自己快速成長，累積經驗最好的方法。面對難關時，有天生的膽識和魄力，雖然有些自我中心，但卻是能開創新局
的領導人才。

【掌控型‧Me原色組合色彩本質】

　。自 覺 紅 色：勇　氣
　。潛 質 藍 色：行動力
　。原 生 靛 色：冷　靜


【掌控型的外顯行為】
急性子，凡事講求快速，希望在短時間之內達到立竿見影的成效。下決定的時候果斷、不拖泥帶水，有膽識。性格明顯，快樂時非常快樂，悲傷時特別悲傷，脾氣來的快也去的快。
很少曲意奉承，是有話直說，坦蕩有禮的人。個性光明磊落，不喜歡檯面下的小動作，覺得事情攤開
來講比較踏實，毫不隱晦，不太能認同模糊隱晦曖昧不明的狀況。

【掌控型的潛意識】
相信天地之間有公平正義真理的存在，是心胸開闊的人。
善於權衡輕重，尤其擅長由理性與邏輯的角度衡量。
有良好的規劃及執行能力，是很好的協調者，能夠理性的分析狀況，並提出建議；在遭遇困難時，
所給予的意見大多是「如何解決眼前的困境」這類具有實質幫助的建議，這是他們表現情感支持的
方式。

【掌控型的靈能意識】
活力十足，博愛且很容易相信別人。深信必須有完美的信任團隊才能夠完美的合作，無法容忍背
叛，會因為過去的背叛經驗而喪失了對人的信心，對於人性和道德，有自己一套嚴格的標準，尤其
認為人應該光明正大，無法忍受人性隱晦的那一面。
對人生目標和規劃有全盤性思考，當他做好準備，就會行動力十足。對於生活周遭的事物感覺敏
銳，對新鮮的事物和新朋友有十足的好奇心。
喜歡榮耀、被稱讚的感覺，對於自己拿手的事物，有時會有些自我中心。相信自己有某種與生俱來
的天賦，想說服他，必須合乎他認知中的道理才有機會，才能得到他的認同。

I like some parts of it, but I am really not that active. Just because I picked red I am outgoing
and resourceful? Please. And I totally embrace the evil side of the human experience. Does not
mean I let it slip, but I do recognize that sometimes, people are just stupid and evil. And so
deadly wrong on the part that I'm in any way sensitive. I am the biggest dud ever, unless
someone tells me upfront that something is going on, I would never even suspect anything.
So all in all, pretty inaccurate if you ask me.

Meaning

I have in my hands the most recent issue of GQ. This offended some people when I said I must be a closeted gay man, since I love to read GQ and Detailed. Both magazine having a very urbane, very sophisticated tone to their articles and arts, but obviously targeted at the male audience. Nevertheless, I find their articles more exciting and diverse than that of women's magazines. Case in point: last year both GQ and Vogue (or Vanity Fair?) sent reporters to go along on Bill Clinton's charity tour in Africa. The GQ reporter talked in-depth of Clinton's work and the location's political climate, and the situation of Clinton's charitable foundation. The Vogue article, however, talked of the palpable sexual chemistry Bill Clinton has on women in a room. Le sigh. Are you serious?

Anyway, I digress.

GQ is awesome, even the clear objectification of the women that show up on their pages. This issue they have Daisy Lowe and Emmanuelle Chriqi. Mmmm. The article that prompted me to rant on about the magazine is called "Leave No Man Behind". It is about the government agency JPAC (Joint POW/MIA Account Command) and civilian volunteers who join their forces and go to different parts of the world to search for the American soldiers who'd died or went missing years ago. It is an emotional piece, leading from a man named Tommy Doyle who was told his father Jimmie Doyle left his family after his stint as a tail bomber in the Pacific during WWII. Turns out not so much. The article went into details all sides of the story, with so much human interest that it was a great read.

The magazine also had other articles. Their man on the cover is Shia LaBeouf. I don't know why all guys I know detest this wise-cracking youth, but I find his quick wit hilarious. Also the magazine teaches you how to grill. Not that I ever grill, but you never know when it may come in handy. All in all, a solid read for my last day of vacation.