Perceptions

Was watching Evgeny Plushenko in his routine "Sex Bomb"... still as funny and as awesome as the day I saw it on TV... which would be about six years ago. Amazing. My memories greatly preserved by the power of technology. The funniest thing is you'd never expect a Mr. Burns-lookalike to be so funny. It's like when Dmitry from season two of SYTYCD said, "We Russians aren't allowed to have fun. No, we are. Just kidding." The Russians... when they are cute, they are really cute.

The above paragraph is so peppered with TV analogies. I can't help it. That's all I do. Whenever people ask me what do you do in your spare time (the underlying message is that if I have any) I watch television. The single most awesome invention EVER. There is no denying it. And the thing is, I am not turned off by reruns, so when people are all out there doing their Christmas thing or summer thing (the off of the TV seasons, therefore reruns), I still sit happily at home, watching televsion. I must've watched The Simpsons, Friends, SATC, CSI, and numerous other movies severals times already. Like Moonstruck. For some reason it was just played over and over again on TV this week. So I watched it. And watched it. And watched it once more (in pieces). Still love it, still love the part where Cher slapps a young, unbald, Nicolas Cage and says, "Snap out of it!" It's just so funny and endearing and real all at the same time.

I seek reality in surreality (as if it's a real word), and I will continue to do so. The reality is just too much, and annoying, and out of control. I don't like it. I like the fabricated reality. Much more digestible and you can fastforward if it gets too real.

Today my sister was saying how a former classmate of mine has gone off to travel to Europe with his girlfriend in the last year, and will be going to Japan in the year next. I was SO jealous. Incredible. My sister, in consolation said, "They all still live at home, so all their income are disposable." To which I replied, "You are right, all the money I earn now are not mine." But still. Everyone else is moving on with their life, going out there, stepping in unsure footsteps in becoming an adult in the world. I am still here. Lingering, and lingering. I have no life. I have no future. And don't tell me to cheer up because I enjoy wallowing in my own negativity and gloom. Happy 2007, another year in the dumps.

As to why this entry is entitled Perceptions, I really can't tell you. Perhaps it's our own perceptions which deceive us. In which case it would be called deceptions. Ta.

Holiday

Although Christmas/Holiday has been in full swing at the old bucks since mid-November, it's still *kinda* exciting to have the day approach. A week today would be Christmas! The Birth of Baby Jesus.

The words Baby Jesus hold special meanings now to Trish, Ruby and I. We watched Talladega nights the other day. The opening dinner sequence gave some enlightening and bountiful catch phrases for us to use everyday. Ricky Bobby was saying grace at the table, and he prays to Baby Jesus. His red-hot stone-cold fox of a wife said, "Jesus was a grown-up too, you know, he had a beard. It's kinda creepy for you to pray to Baby Jesus." To which Ricky Bobby replied, "I like Baby Jesus the best, I like the Christmas Jesus. When you say grace, you can pray to teenage Jesus, grown-up Jesus or bearded Jesus." or something to that extent, except more hilarious.

Baby Jesus. (spoken with a southern twang)

That movie was funny. And Ruby makes it even funnier.

The holiday is upon us. And soon it'll be time to make New Year's resolutions. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Christmas shopping, ah yes. The root of all evil, the commercialism that invades all of our wallets, whether you celebrate Christmas or not. I bought stuff, yeah. I went to the mall, yeah. Or rather, I braved the mall. And believe or not, I will be one of those people hanging around the mall at 7am on Boxing Day. Why? Because I believe in early birds get the worm or however the saying goes. And plus, have you seen the mall on Boxing day at 10am? Total chaos. I'd rather not. So that's my holiday plan. I'll be working through all the eves and holidays this year, so there is really no celebration. But not complaining, because I'll be making money. And I'm getting Boxing day off. OFF. I still can't believe I got a day off. It's so sad how daily routines can skew your perception so much.

Come to think of it, I've beeng pretty much working non-stop since April this year... 8 months, 8 long months without a break. Even though I say to all people when they inquire whether I am tired or not, that I am ok, it's just like when I had school. But it's different, it's different from doing school and part-time job on the side. My life wasn't run by the jobs, I had a separate life from the work. I was learning, and enjoying being a student during the last year of my education. Ah the last year, no wonder people ponder about grad school in their last year.

I had a wonderful time, even thought I was taking 6 courses, all back-to-back from 8:30am to 6pm, but I still had a wonderful time. Ah, the rose-tinted spectacles of the past, how I adore thee. Holiday is also a good time for a year in review. Sigh. It's like I did nothing this year.

Good ol' 2006.

And this entry shall define randomeness.

It's all fake

Fellow supervisors and I have all shared a drink, talked about personal lives, and vented far and beyond when it came to general crappiness of the work. However, I think when I leave the place, I will be completely removed from the place... the past camaraderie and relationship will cease to exist. Does that make our current situations fake?

I don't know how my brain worked on that one.

(Taking a step back and read what I wrote)

My parents are all in Taiwan right now. My mom is there because she needs to take care of my dad, who just had 1/5 of his liver taken out due to a tumor. Boy were we worried. But the surgery was a success, and everything seems to be on the right track (aside from the obvious financial situation). Last week has just been hectic, running around to apply a new passport for my mom in 24 hours, buy plane tickets, keeping in constant touch with my godmother in Taiwan (who has been there for my parents throughout this whole thing). You really gotta be thankful for things like these.

Can't write, gotta go. Work awaits.

My love and hate relationship with JP

This got nothing to do with Justin Timberlake's song, I swear.

中毒したというものだと思う、その理由しかない。 That's what I think. I've been obsessively poisoned with this love for everything Japan. This comes as a realization after 3-hours of half-hearted cramming for the level 1 Japanese Language Proficiency Test. The pop cultures, the fashion, the literature, all of it. Love, love, love. If I can only explain why, but I can't.

Have you had so much emotion swell up in you upon hearing a song that you could almost cry? Put on a Kuraki Mai cd when tried to study this morning. It's a Best-of cd, but they are all songs I've been listening to when I was in high school. Just, the memories, the nostalgia, everything came up. Rose-coloured spectacles, perhaps, but I just can' t help it. Wait till I put on some Glay cds (they are only, like, my favorite band in the world), sigh.

I've been pretty much drifting around during the year after I graduated, doing nothing, pursuing nothing. Because my sole purpose, upon graduation, was to go to Japan. Looking back on those blogs I wrote during those years, it's all things like, I'm going to Japan, I'm going to Japan to see Glay before Teru's voice finally gives out to chain-smoking, etc, etc. But now... the harsh reality. Crashing down. It's like I was killed but lived, only barely.

Of course I know the solution. Find a better-paying job, and make so much money that I can pay off ALL of our debts, and then some to settle my parents in for retirement, and then leave it all behind to go to Japan to pursue... whatever it is that I want. How is that for likelihood? Ha.

Gotta go. Must return to half-hearted studying. I don't think I can pass this thing... oh well, there is always next year.