Whirlwind of Fire

Monday, March 07, 2016

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Oh hey, here I am again.  Hiatus after hiatus.  I don't know why I neglect this blog so much either, but I can offer some theories.

Theories, in the end, is all I have.

My first theory is that I spend all day on the computer, at work.  So it would make sense that I would subconsciously avoid more computer usage when I am home.  That seems unlikely though, seeing how much time I spend on my phone, which is basically a tiny computer.

My second theory is that I am a lame and lazy ass, that's it.  I am so lame and lazy that I would not spend the time to really sit down, let loose, and really cultivate my writing, work on my craft.

Isn't that right, I am trying to "work on my craft", like as if I am going to become a writer.

The thing is, I don't know what I want to become.  But I am not proactive enough to find out.  Therein lies my pathetic predicament.

What is living like?  What is living life like?

I change things about myself.  Exterior things like hair.  But I don't go and change what's inside.

Zero.  Motivation.

I spent a little time reading my previous blog entries.  I used to be so much more poetic.  That has all been lost.

I always thought that when I grow older, I will become a better person.  Better how, you ask?  I am not sure either.  But just better.  If my 20-year-old self saw me as I am today, I don't think she'd be too impressed.

Sobering thought, isn't it?