The other day I had a review with my manager. Under "maintain a calm exterior during periods of high volume" she gave me a 2 (middle mark). Her reason was, while I do remain extremely calm during busy periods, but sometimes I am TOO calm, and not showing that sense of urgency.

For example, we'd be out of coffee for brewing. She would inform me of that, and my reaction would be, "Oh, okay. In that case we can either grind up some whole beans, or we can start calling other stores." Upon seeing that reaction (or a lack thereof), my manager would often wonder, "Does she understand the urgency of these things?" -- is what she said to me.

Well of COURSE I understand the urgency, I just don't see why I got to panic at every little thing. And often times when these things happen, someone would ALREADY be panicking, I tend to be even calmer when someone panics. These things always blow through, I don't sweat things like that ... besides it's not like I don't get things done or solved, they do get done/solved. So I really didn't understand what exactly am I supposed to be like when busy periods hits or we have "situations". It's hard to say.

Going down the list, when it came to "providing legendary service to customers," I put down a 2 for myself. I said my service was adequate but it wasn't legendary. My manager asked what could I have done to make it legendary. I thought about it and I said, perhaps I could talk to them even more than I already do... (sigh) In case you don't know, I really don't like to talk, especially to strangers. I am really a very dull person, and I run out of topics easily; plus I don't find silences unbearable. My manager thought that's true, I could talk to the customers more, get to know them. Act more excited, more enthusiastic. I said that's not in my nature, I don't act excited. She then asked me, when was the last time you were excited, you were passionate about something? I cannot recall. I just don't. So we let that pass, very awkward. My manager said that she thought she was mellow, but she is nothing, compared to me.

Mellow, sure, okay. Whatever. I just think of myself as emotionless, and very reactionary. But if you want to call that mellow, fine by me.

Natalie Portman appeared in SNL doing a skit called Jamba Juice. I think this is what my manager meant by "enthusiastic". Since I don't know how to put video clips in my blog, not even knowing if it's allowed, I courteously ask you to click on the link, and scroll down to the one called "SNL_Jamba_Juice.wmv " It's really funny.