I am afraid that I am soon to become one with the rock stars, getting addicted to pain killers.

Some people may know, and certainly my family, I often get excruciating pain in my eyes. It starts as a numbing pain, like someone applying pressure from the inside of my head outwards squeezing my eyeballs, then it escalates into migraines, and all hell breaks lose from there. If I am lucky, I will be able to eat a little, and puke it all up. Not pleasant at all.

During those periods, I can't focus on anything but the pain. I can't use my eyes at all, which means no reading, computer, and TV. And my life is basically over at that point. If I can't do any of the above, there is nothing I can do except sleep and hope to get better when the morning comes.

It used to occur once in a while, and I'll be good as new the next day. But lately I am getting it more and more often. Almost everyday, my eyes would bother me a little; and if I don't do anything about it (rest, put hot towel over my eyes), it'll get worse. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, I got myself some Advil liquid-gels. I took one yesterday, took one just now, and I think I'll grow dependent on it. And that's not good. I am very inclined to become addicted to drugs I have discovered, and kicking the habit will be hard. However if it means to keep me sane and normal most of the time, then it's worth it.

I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. It's a dreary day, the day before my parents' birthday. My sister and I planned to go out and treat them a nice meal, but lack of planning led to no dinner at all, and tomorrow (their actual birthday), my sister and I will be going to the Phantom... and not be with them. Extreme guilt and eye pains, not a good day at all.